Make the Bold Move: What Happens Before Confidence

In the intro of this podcast, one of the things I say is that sometimes we feel as though we have to have the authority or credibility to make bold moves. Which is interesting, because the opposite is actually true. We have to make bold moves in order to feel as though we have the credibility or authority. It takes bold moves to feel confidence. The confidence comes after the bold moves. But there's something that comes before the bold moves I want to share about today.

I went through a moment to meeting challenge with Jess Ekstrom, a professional speaker. The challenge took place over ten days, and the goal was to think about a small moment every day and attach some kind of meaning to it, just to get in the habit of noticing small moments. We were also challenged to post this to social media, so I posted what I'm about to tell you on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook. I was amazed at the responses I got from this one post. My typical reaction rate on LinkedIn is somewhere between ten and thirty reactions, and every now and then a comment or two. This post had the most reactions and comments I've ever seen, one hundred forty one reactions and thirty nine comments.

Here's what the post read. I attended a conference breakout session that wasn't my own. There were several other participants in the room. We all waited and waited and waited a bit more before realizing the presenter probably wasn't going to show. I had a fleeting thought, what if I got up to present? Within seconds of the thought, I was standing before the room, beginning to hook up my laptop and letting everyone know they were welcome to stay for an impromptu session. Several did, and that session led to a consulting contract.

In life, there are those who think about the bold move, and then there are those who actually make the bold move. Make the bold move.

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What Happened After That One Bold Move

Not only did I get a contract from a follow up session, but when I told that room I'd be presenting my real session later and gave them the time, that session filled up so fast there was a line of people waiting outside the door to get in. I believe the people who attended the impromptu session went and shared about it. They had to close the doors because of fire code. An event coordinator came to me and said, hey, this session was packed out, are you willing to present again at the end of the day in the larger conference room? Of course my answer was yes. That's the session where I landed the contract.

I say all of this not to brag on myself, but to encourage you to also make the bold move, and not just allow it to be this behind the scenes thought that you have. Sometimes we let it live there in the back of our minds and we don't actually act on it.

Two Responses I Hear

When I share this story with different people, there are a couple of different responses I get. Some people said, of course Casey Watts did that. I haven't always been the person to make these bold moves, and I'm going to tell you why I can make them now. But here's what a lot of people said.

• I can't imagine doing that. I would be too afraid. I would be so nervous.
• I wouldn't have even thought to do that, to make that bold move.

Clarity Comes Before the Bold Move

The number one thing that has allowed me to make bold moves I wouldn't have once made is clarity of identity, clarity of presence, and clarity of purpose. I know exactly who I am and who I want to be. I've done the deep work of identifying my core values, my beliefs, what my strengths are, what my struggles are. I've done the deep work of considering how I show up and how I want to show up, and it's something I'm practicing day in and day out. When I start second guessing, I'm taking hold of those second guessing thoughts, interrupting that pattern, and shifting my narrative. I have crystal clear clarity on where I want to go and why I want to go there.

I have clarity around these things because I've done the self reflective work on my own, but I've also done the work of partnering with coaches. One of my favorite coaches I've ever had, Gina Rappaport, coached me through shifting my mindset specifically around speaking in public. She helped me reroute some of the stories, the narratives and limiting beliefs I once had, so I could recognize them for what they were and then make a decision to pivot in the moment and think in a different way.

That's exactly what happened in that session. I stood up in front of thirty to forty people and had to make the decision to get past limiting beliefs like, no one really wants you to get up and do that, what are people going to think of you, what if the session doesn't go well. Those thoughts existed, and they'll probably continue to exist in different situations. But I now have the skills, because of coaching, my self reflective work, my reading, and my podcast listening, to make the bold move anyway.

I've poured into relationships that helped me focus on who I am and who I want to be. Lindsay Deacon is a great example, a phenomenal friend but also someone who challenges me with intentional questions and intentional feedback. I've poured into master classes, group coaching programs, and entrepreneurial groups that challenge me on a daily basis, not only to think differently, but to take the bold move.

Why You See More Opportunities Once You Look

For the people who say I wouldn't have even thought to do that, there's something called your reticular activating system. It exists in the thalamus. When you're driving down the road and you start thinking about a blue car, what do you suddenly start to recognize on the roads? All over the place, you're going to see blue cars. It's not that there are more blue cars. It's that you've activated your reticular activating system to recognize them. The same is true for opportunities and situations.

I am aware of potential opportunities before me, therefore I see more opportunities. I've made it a practice to be aware of these different opportunities, therefore I am aware of them. Not only am I aware, but I can create opportunities. I can make bold moves to create opportunities out of what sometimes looks like nothing, simply because I'm aware of it. And that, paired with the clarity I have about who I am, how I show up, and where I want to go, allows me to attack so many different opportunities and make the bold moves I once never would have thought to make, or that I was once too nervous to make.

If you want to get better at making the bold move and build confidence, that's the type of coaching that I do. I love to support women in gaining clarity of identity, presence, and purpose so they can stop second guessing, say what needs to be said, and lead by influence, not authority. That's where you're going to notice you're able to make the bold moves that make the most sense for you and your life.

What bold move have you been thinking about and not yet acting on?